By Hannah Truby
Leadville, a small town of 2,600, sits at the base of the state’s two highest 14,000-foot peaks and lies just 26 miles from Silverthorne, CO, where professional skier Drew Petersen was born and raised. As a kid, he recalls being "so intrigued" by the mass of runners that flocked to the area every August for the 'race across the sky.'
“That was the first time I ever heard of somebody running 100 miles,” he laughs. “I don’t know, I just knew I would do it someday. And it quite literally became a lifeline for me.”
Premiering this weekend, Feel It All is Petersen's second film, and chronicles his pursuit of a new goal, one he made in the wake of “one of the scariest suicidal episodes” of his life: to complete the ultramarathon known as the Leadville 100.
Petersen, with over a decade of chasing big mountain lines, is no stranger to pushing the limits. Life, for him, has largely been defined by extremes. But the biggest obstacles Petersen faces aren’t found in the backcountry, but rather in himself.
In addition to being a professional skier, Petersen is an activist. As a public speaker and filmmaker, he is a vocal and visual advocate for increasing awareness around mental health. His first film, released in 2022, chronicles his own personal struggles with PTSD, bipolar disorder, recovery from a brain injury, and a near life-long battle with suicidal thoughts. Ups & Downs received “an overwhelmingly positive response”, encouraging Petersen to continue sharing his story through his second film.
Running 100 miles might sound like a cruel and unusual punishment to some, but for Petersen, it was a goal that rewarded a way back to himself.
“I told myself that if I could make it through this, if I could survive to see tomorrow, then I could do absolutely anything,” he says. “I could climb any mountain, ski any line, run 100 miles.”
While Petersen was (spoiler alert) successful in completing 2022’s Leadville 100, he is intentional to say that neither the film nor his personal struggles end at the finish line.
“Literally and metaphorically,” he starts. “There's no finish line in my mental health journey. One of the things you'll notice in this film is that I speak really openly - frankly, it's still not all the way open because I haven't healed all the wounds - but I’m open about how this has been a lifelong struggle for me.”
From a distance, it can be easy to brush off such candidness. You’re making the film; it comes with the territory. That’s easy criticism, though. And it doesn’t do justice to the fact that Petersen bares his struggles, disorders, and diagnoses - many of which he’s carried since he was just nine-years-old – in service of a greater mission, one that seeks to change the entire culture surrounding mental health.
“It’s a challenge and a luxury to have the experience to share my stories and struggles,” Petersen tells me. “I know the impact that this can have on people, and that is very tangible, and I feel like I do hold a sense of responsibility to do that justice.”
An installment of what is turning out to be a strong and growing collection of Petersen’s work, Feel It All is indeed contributing to a larger cultural shift, and imagines what is possible when mental health is prioritized.
Nearing the end of our call, I feel unsure of what to say next. There’s more here, surely. But I’m unable to conjure up any half-good question.
As if reading my mind, Petersen shares with me something my boss - Mike Rogge - once asked him.
“When I put Ups and Downs out into the world, I did a million interviews, and a bunch of people asked similar questions. But Mike asked me a question—I don't remember his exact wording, but it was something to the effect of, you know, by doing this, by being so vulnerable publicly, you're becoming someone that people look up to and want to emulate. What do you owe to those people, and what do you owe to our community moving forward? Nobody had asked me that, and I think Mike's still the only person who ever has.”
Damn. That’s good, I think. “Do you feel like you owe them something?” I ask.
“I still remember what I told him two and a half years ago,” he answers. “All I owe to anybody is to keep taking care of myself. And that's what I'm encouraging people to do—take care of themselves. So I have to live it on my own, and that's not always easy…but that's where the magic lies, I guess.”
Feel It All will launch on Saturday, August 17th at 4 A.M., coinciding with the shotgun start of the 2024 Leadville 100, in which Petersen will be participating. Watch it for free on YouTube.
Mountain Gazette is a proud sponsor of Feel It All.
