Know your Mountain Neighbor

By Cam Burns

Zen Mom•ma

Female, from 13 to mid-60s. Smells
like some kind of oil you cannot place. Wears lots of purple scarves, beads and jangly stuff. Still loves Stevie Nicks. Believes that fifteen sessions of yoga per day is the key to happiness. Uses a lot of Prozac. Likes to get chenzed on pinot gris—and Prozac. Has a real estate license. Is the most successful realtor in town.