Winter gloves you can handle
By Cam Burns |
| Gordini Vertigos: good grip in weird times |
 |
 |
| Lowe Alpine Hot Grips: give your runny nose the finger. |
Columbia Titanium Glove
At $40, Columbia’s Titanium soft-shell glove (around 4 ounces-per-pair) is an excellent entrée into the adroitness-versus-degrees game. These price-pointers come in two models — right and left; and if the left glove doesn’t fit well, try the right glove, so to speak. The material is a lightweight stretchable nylon, the fingertips and palms are protected by a beefy cloth called fabric. The way the fabric covers the fingertips is pretty neat, and I can see that these would be sturdy winter work gloves for anyone whose fingers wear through the tips of other gloves. The superbly functional cut lets you huck up the bird to any non-Rocky Mountain States’ license plate with dexterity. My friend Manual swears by ’em. As they say, idle hands do the Devil’s work — now you can pitch and do your part with Columbia’s Titanium soft-shell gloves.
www.columbia.com
Gordini Down Ropers
and Gordini Vertigos
Like Jack Handy, I had deep thoughts about these gloves (soft music helps). Gordini gloves are unique because of their insulation materials. The Down Ropers (size small weighs 0.6 pounds-per-pair; $60) are stylish all-leather (deerskin) numbers filled — on the backs of the hand, fingers, and thumb — with down. There is a fair amount of play between your hand’s palm and the glove’s palm, so these really aren’t for detailed technical work — more the sort of thing Pierce Brosnan would wear on the slopes at Ski Cooper while wondering what the hell he was doing there. And remember, these gloves are made with goose feathers, so you can pretend to be witty when you buy them by saying “hand me down.” If you have more technical needs, say hello to Gordini’s Vertigos ($60) — full-length gauntleted digit-dressers for skiing the deeps and d.p.ing the peeps. Insulated with Lavawool (a blend of aging male lambs’ back-hair and artificial fiber), these smart leather-palmed units have an interesting wrist-tightening mechanism — a ratcheting plastic slider that locks down on a nylon strap. One word of caution: The Vertigos (size small weighs 0.5 pounds per pair) don’t fit well if you have six fingers or more (so bring a sharp knife).
www.gordini.com
Marmot Storm King Gloves
Marmot’s Storm King Gloves are categorized on the firm’s website as ski gloves — too bad. They work great for ice climbing, shoveling snow, skitching behind Vail buses and doing whatever else requires a burly winter paw-covering. The Storm Kings, at $75, boast a warm, breathable softshell fabric and a wildly “grippy” (Marmot’s technical term) cowhide palm (I couldn’t believe this stuff was leather) plus all the other features you’d like in something that covers digits that — on yer precious nekkid body — often go deep. Marmot’s handy snot-scraper fabric (the patented “Mucus Management System”) lies along the north side of the thumb. I didn’t like the wrist-tightening system on these gloves (I hate Fastex-style loop sliders with small pulltabs), but other than that, these are happy hand-coverings capable of dealing with any winter condition. To quote one PR firm (that doesn’t represent Marmot, and whose “professionals” were writing about condoms), they: “offer an exceptional blend of warmth, dexterity, and protection.” The Storm Kings (and Storm Queens, for you cross-dressing types) really do. Also, you should still check out www.marmotburrow.ucla.edu, which explains a lot about these sciuroid rodents and the people running the company.
www.marmot.com
Lowe Alpine Hot Grip Gloves
Lowe Alpine’s 7-ounce-per-pair Hot Grip Gloves ($65) are decently designed gauntlets with medium-length cuffs — that perfect size for hiding home-sentencing wrist-tags. They also come in a wide selection of colors (all of which are black). A bright orange cuff drawcord lets you instantly discern what you’re yanking when cinching down in heavy snow (most other brands’ gloves have black cords; confusing with the glove-keeper cords many models carry). The Hot Grips include the ever-ingenious middle-finger clip-on-loop, so you can give the social finger to dropped gloves, extensive knuckle-padding, and a “snot-scraper” fabric (Lowe’s official terminology) along the top edge of the pointer. At 7 ounces per glove, they are a great choice in any Weightwatcher’s uphill battle and definitely a lot warmer than sticking your hand in a bucket of frozen slop. They also tuck nicely into any glove-box or handbag, and you can eat finger-food with these (or lob it across the restaurant at an unsuspecting neocon). www.lowealpine.com
Patagonia Work & Stretch Element Gloves
With the exception of the catalogue, I’ve never actually seen anyone use Patagonia’s 5.5-ounce-per-pair Work Gloves for the four-lettered activity that comprises their name (I’d have titled them the Shirk Gloves). Nearly all-leather, except the back of the hand and bits of the knuckles (a stretchy, breathable polyester covers them bits), these $80 beauties fit insanely snuggly, if you buy the right size. Though the Storm Kings and Torsions (see below) have insanely sticky palms, I liked the leather of the Workers a lot — a sort of medium-weight number. There are two (!!!) Patagonia labels on each glove (one on the palm and one on the back) — terrific if you’re buying them to show the slackers around the Grits & Cornpone Lounge that you’re a bad-ass high-country hardcore son of a gun. Also, check out Patagucci’s excellent 9-ounce-per-pair gloves Stretch Element Gloves ($100). Same leathery dexterity of the Shirk Gloves and boasting removable liners, but most noteworthy for their long double-cuffs. Designed like a storm-collar on a backpack, the inner collar has simple elastic band; the outer is cinchable via a drawstring. If you’re rooting around the back of a snow-filled pickup or digging for a week-late friend in an out-of-bounds region and need to keep the white stuff out, these are your gluvvies. Again, two labels, so you can hold your head high, or you can put it on a shelf. Bonus features include space for four fingers and a thumb.
www.patagonia.com
OR Gear Edge and Contact
“Supple as a naughty wrist at play” — that’s what came to mind when I tried out OR’s Edge ($60). The Edge’s great and superlight (6.1 ounces-per-pair, men’s large) design — plus long cuff — make it ideal for skiing, building a snowman, or lobbing snowballs at old gummers in little Rascal electric chairs as they exit City Market. As usual, OR’s designers are leading the creativity pack with tricks. The cuff’s tightening cinch has two pulltabs — one black, one white — one on each side of the lower arm. Pull one and the cuff cinches down snug; pull the other and the cuff loosens up. I’m not mechanically-minded, so this excellent, creative innovation had me baffled for minutes (until I saw a bright light). Leather-palmed, the rest of the unit is ripstop nylon. If your upper hand has one, your underhand will get jealous. Be on the safe side and purchase an entire pair. Meanwhile, OR’s short-length Contacts ($69) are a sort of technical climber’s version. They boast extensive knuckle-padding, biddable leather palms that behave like my pal Rosie, an easily-grabbed and yanked wrist closure, and they weigh next to nada when you’re in Spanish-speaking lands (4.9 ounces-per-pair, men’s large). Even if you lose one, a single Contact on one hand is much better than two Contacts with the Bushes. www.orgear.com
Mountain Hardwear Torsion
Mountain Hardwear has a huge range of gloves, but the Torsions ($60) — new this year — are special because they are made of incredibly thin Conduit fabric (I couldn’t believe these would be anywhere near warm enough for activities like ice climbing, so I held a block of ice in them until I got bored (around 10 minutes)). Though absolutely minimal, a pair weighs a Twiggy-esque 4 ounces, and the dexterity gets to the eyebrow/naval/lint-picking level: These are great gloves. Like the Storm Kings above, it’s hard to believe the Torsions’ palms are leather — they feel like some kind of space-aged super-rubber. Apparently it’s stuff called Pittard’s Leather, which has been popular with the S&M crowd for years but is now making its way into the outdoor gear industry (I’m thinking a Pittard’s Leather balaclava with a zippered mouth-hole would be a nice addition to MH’s line). Versatile, too: Governor Mitt wears his Torsions on the right; MG Art Director John Glover wears the lefthand Torsion as a cold-weather man-sock. www.mountainhardwear.com
Sporthill Infuzion Gloves
Sporthill’s InFuzion Gloves ($20) came across the desk at the end of our gear-sample collection process (by the way, have you Gazette staffers all turned in your Dixie cups yet?), and while they weren’t the beefy kinds of gloves heretofore included in this review, they were impressive enough that I thought we ought to fondle something with them. At a mere 1.9 ounces-per-pair, the InFuzions — non-shell, liner-type gloves — are perfect for shoulder-season sessions of cycling, running, and XC (but not INXS) skiing. They’re made of a combo of 91 percent polyester and 9 percent Lycra and boast a cool “Gripper” palm (in a funky rubbery pattern that looks like a sample-taking physician miscued something). Remember, though, on the other hand, the left-handed InFuzion glove doesn’t fit well. Suggest you keep some near-at-hand. www.sporthill.com
Cam Burns wonders why people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is. He can be reached at jonathanhemlock@hotmail.com
